Playoff Chaos: A Brutal Recap of NFL's Rollercoaster Ride With a Preview of A Hated Super Bowl

By Alex Benjamin

AP PHOTO

Two words best describe these playoffs: brutal and unforgiving. Forget your feel-good stories, your narratives, and especially your likability, because that doesn't get you to the promised land—wins do. It's been a playoffs full of blowouts and humiliation, but it marches on all the same. Nearly everyone's upset at the outcome, the least surprising outcome in the world, unfortunately.

Here's a quick recap of the 2024 NFL Playoffs:

Wild Card

Steelers vs Bills

In the AFC, random wins and endless mayhem could not rule supreme. The Steelers did not belong here in any manner, shape, or form. To stand a chance, they needed to play flawless football, which they did not. Too many mistakes doomed them against a vengeful Bills team. The worst part is that Pittsburgh can easily claim success this year since they sneaked into the playoffs and were within one score at one point. This team can't afford to be complacent; defensive splash plays won't hold them up. The Steelers need to be active throughout the offseason, but knowing them, they will simply trot out the same lineup next year, and nothing changes. I won't believe anything else until I see it happen. 

Dolphins vs Chiefs

The Sharks were smelling a fraud in the water, and the Dolphins dismantling is a yearly tradition. They can't beat a competent team not named Dallas, and they can't win once December hits. Division hopes going cold result in freezing solid in Kansas City -30° wind chill, which is better than how Miami looked in their wild card game. Flailing about on the ground, pleading for death, they were as lovable as the peacock broadcast, as lifeless a performance as you'll ever see. They need to ask themselves some serious questions in the offseason, from the offense that lacks an off-switch to Tua being terrible when it matters to Mike McDaniel throwing a screen pass every play. If things go south early next year, the axe might start swinging in a hurry.

Browns vs Texans

You expected this day to arrive eventually. The Browns had been ravaged by war casualties and disease, forced on a death march to hostile territory where they were easy pickings for their opponent. The magic had vanished from the dark elves. When it mattered most, Joe Flacco turned into Joe Flaccid, a flashback to his late-stage Ravens days, death by back-to-back pick-sixes, a bittersweet end to an extraordinary season. That much-touted defense could only bow down to CJ Strout in awe. With that Watson deal, this could have been their best opportunity to make a statement, but all the injuries ruined whatever hopes they may have had for the season. This was the definition of a lost season. However, one thing, Cleveland, did you seriously have to lose to the team you gave a fortune to for Deshaun? That honestly might be the thing that stings the most. 

Rams vs Lions

This game was classic Rams football: a fierce battle, pushing the opposition to the limit, and ultimately not having enough to win. The problem is that in different conditions, perhaps even with the Rams of two years ago, they might have won this comfortably and undoubtedly would have if they could have converted anything in the Red Zone. Detroit was dying to experience pain, but the Rams just didn't have enough to get it done. Don't blame the refs, that had nothing to do with it; besides, you're accusing the refs of favoring Detroit. Stop for a moment and think, Detroit…be real. The end result is the 30 year curse for the Lions has been vanquished. Miami, congratulations, you now have the longest playoff win drought in the NFL; hold it with pride.

Eagles vs Buccaneers

The understatement of the decade would be to say that the Eagles suck. The Carolina Panthers would defeat them. They were blown the hell out. A group that failed on every third or fourth down. If the Bucs receivers could catch, they'd have lost by 20 more. The bald eagle may be off the endangered species list, but the Philadelphia Eagles are being tush-pushed to extinction. 

Cowboys vs Packers

Who's ready for the greatest joke in the world? How bout them Cowboys?! Oh, it doesn't get old. They got annihilated. Oh wait, the Cowboys are keeping Mike McCarthy. HAHAHAHA.

Divisional Round

Texans vs Ravens

The Texans should not feel at all ashamed of the way things ended, even if they lost as was to be expected. For the whole of the first half, they held their own against the best in the AFC; it was only when Lamar went crazy that their weaknesses were exposed. This was no stopping the Ravens' running game; Lamar Jackson, after all, was a man possessed. I don't think Houston's feeling too bad; potentially generational QB, a face of the defense in Will Anderson, one of the best head coaches in football. H Town has such a bright future. 

Bills vs Chiefs 

History repeats itself; all the pieces were in place for the Bills to become the AFC's premier team at last. One of the weakest Chiefs teams in recent memory marching into their home with the power of Taylor Swift in possession. Buffalo was given every chance to win this heavyweight fight, but they just couldn't do it. The Bills are just doomed to be bridesmaids. They spend so much time trying to run away from their own mistakes that they fail to execute when it counts. Tyler Bass, wide right. That’s all I’ll say. Once again, another vicious setback; I genuinely have no idea what they do. Whatever they've tried, wise or foolish, has failed, and with their cap issues and free agents coming up, this might have been backbreaking once again. 

Packers vs 49ers

The Packers had them right by the throat. Unfortunately, though, the narratives must be maintained. Painful as the loss is, can't fault them for getting this far; for a supposed rebuilding year, this was outstanding. Packers Nation won their Super Bowl, beating the Cowboys. Was watching this game in a bar so I don't have too much to say. However, watching my roomate, a Niners fan, do karaoke after a win like this was a sight to behold. 

Buccaneers vs Lions

Once again, it's hard to hold the Bucs accountable for not winning the game despite their best efforts. Tampa Bay played hard and in turn, turned the game into an offensive shootout led by two men cast aside by the teams that picked them, and at the end of the day, the Lions were simply the better team. No matter what the Buccaneers tried to do to one-up their opponent, it wasn't enough. They had little chance since their defense couldn't stop a tumbleweed, but Baker played well and will get rewarded with a lot of money that Cleveland should have given him. The next question concerns Mike Evans: was this his last game there? Will they get outbid for Baker in the offseason? For a team that had roughly 80 million in dead cap this year, this was a solid showing, but this offseason should be interesting for them. 

Championship Round

Ravens vs Chiefs

With virtually nothing standing in their way, I could never shake the idea that the Ravens were going to waste one of the biggest opportunities in Lamar’s career. In reaction to Kansas City's strong performance, the Ravens continued to cut themselves off at the knees. Baltimore has this great running offense going against a mid-tier run defense in the Chiefs, and they only have eight designed running plays! The horrific lack of discipline and execution was a painful sight to behold. All of that hype resulted in Zay Flowers selling the game with a taunting penalty while fumbling the ball at the one; devastating. It'll get overshadowed, but Lamar reinforces every playoff narrative against him on the final two drives. Know how they win? By not throwing the game into triple coverage. They panicked and let emotions get the best of them again; they've learned nothing. Kansas City just took advantage.

Lions vs 49ers

Oh Detroit, why did you waste such a wonderful opportunity? With the Lions leading 17 points at the half, San Francisco was completely outmatched and lacked any counter strategies. Yet, like most players on the Lions with the football in the second half, they just let it slip away. The only catalyst needed was the thing that got them there, Dan Campbell's over-aggression. You live by that sword; it'll be the first thing to kill you. That failure to convert the 4th down opened the floodgates, as everything vanished in the blink of an eye. Detroit's down by three in the fourth in field goal range; will they fail it again? It's the razor-thin line of if things work out, you're a genius; if not, well you know. One of the greatest seasons in Detroit's history turns into unspeakable pain. It was amazing to witness anyway. I do have one question to ask them: why did the Lions abandon their running game in the second half?

Super Bowl 58 Preview 

Life does not care for feel-good stories or underdogs; it wants winners. The team representing the AFC definitely does enough of that. To be honest, I didn't think the Chiefs would return. This year's title defense appeared to be in serious danger. The offense, which was the foundation of their success, was at trouble since the receivers were struggling to catch anything. To see that stinker they had against the Raiders on Christmas, the offense imploded on itself. The Chiefs were being carried by defense in the strangest twist; things were looking bad. When you're only truly reliable weapons are Travis Kelce and Rashee Rice, it would be a climb, especially with the gauntlet they had to face in the playoffs. So much for that gauntlet. 

This is Kansas City at its finest; nothing can stop Patrick Mahomes from methodically dismantling his opponents with an elusiveness that rivals the Zodiac Killer and an efficiency that equals him (Just watched a Youtube video on this guy. NUTS). His death-defying throws are frustrating defensive coordinators everywhere. Their sluggish regular season was only a mask for their true form. The quarterback of dreams, and one that every team has attempted to emulate since. There's nothing like his chemistry with Travis Kelce—backyard football like my dad in PS 36 in 1975 with a cold-blooded flare. When they're on their game, no scheme nor personnel can stop them. If that isn't enough, you get Isaiah Pacheco breathing down your neck. Okay, breathing isn't the right term to use, more angrily running you over. On the receiver front; besides Kelce, it's a committee. Rashee Rice is the most reliable one of the bunch, but Marquez Valdez Scantling has come up clutch in big moments the last two games. In addition, Sky Moore, Noah Gray, and Justin Watson need to be looked at. All behind what remains one of the football's strongest offensive lines. They still have the upside of a champion. 

The true surprise, though, has been their defense. Kansas City's core has been Steve Spagnuolo's group, and their front four has been a driving force. It suffered a serious blow with Charles Omenihu being out with a torn labrum, but when you still have Chris Jones wrecking stuff, you don't need much else. They will be formidable with Derek Nnadi and George Kharlaftis surrounding him. Their pass defense is the true threat. Among the greatest in football and an absolute nightmare for opponents. Their linebacking corps, a balanced machine of Willie Gay and Nick Bolton. Their secondary: welcome to L'Jarius Snead, a shutdown corner of shutdown corners, only one touchdown surrendered all season. Also with Trent McDuffy, it doesn't get much easier to pass. Safety Justin Reed and Mike Edwards are back from last year, along with a chorus of depth pieces that will turn the tide. 

Do you remember the time when Kansas City was seen as the underdog, a fun-loving team bringing new life to the NFL? Four years after their first ascent to top, the only word on people's minds is dynasty and villians, demonstrating how quickly public opinion can shift. Five seasons, four trips to the Super Bowl, and maybe three championships to show for it. They're reaching that territory now, the chance to be spoken about is the team of the decade, just like the Patriots that dominated the AFC before. 

All you're hearing now are the complaints of fans having to watch Taylor Swift for five seconds at a time in a suite. The NFL is salivating at the money they'll print as the Chiefs have emerged as the new villain of the league, and they should embrace that mantra. You never know how long it's going to last. But before they even consider that option, they'll have to get through a foe they've once bested

The 49ers have had a difficult journey since their devastating defeat to these Chiefs in 2020. They've had one setback after another. They had a miraculous run in 2021, but they were crushed by their inferior brothers in Los Angeles. Their best opportunity against the Eagles in 2022 was ruined by injuries to both quarterbacks. Every opportunity was destroyed by factors that were largely beyond their control, but even so, expectations for San Francisco this year were quite high. Every weapon at their disposal, the best of the best at nearly every position. Their regular season was a massive display of dominance. Trent Williams and Debo Samuel's injuries sent them on a three-game losing streak, but they got back to dominating. Even for their incredible talents, they've been dancing through an insane amount of adversity this postseason They had to come back to barely beat Green Bay, a team they should have thoroughly crushed on paper. Then Detroit, it got ugly at first, very ugly. However, they turned on the "jets", the lion self-destructed, and the rest is history. It also means one thing, Kyle Shanahan was able to win from behind; that's been a sticking point of his. 

It comes from unexpected places when it comes to a field general like Brock Purdy. Trey Lance was being prepared for the job but Mr. Irrelevant shows up and takes control of their arsenal of weaponry. His role in the offense is nothing crazy, keep it simple, minimize mistakes, take advantage of what defenses give him, and allow the skill players to shine. Those skill players, oh my, when you start with Christian McCaffrey, things are good. The question when trading for him last year was would he stay healthy? That response, in my opinion, has been a loud yes; the answer was leaving Carolina. Debo Samuel, one of the key figures, deserves blessings as well. He's one of the major catalysts of this offense in so many ways. He's not the only receiving option either, Brandon Aiyuk was looked at as a great option that needed his chance, and he's more than certainly got it. There's also a little-known tight end named George Kittle. He's pretty good in his own right if I say so myself. On the offensive line, Trent Williams is the actual key to this offense; when he's injured, the offense vanishes to nothing. This is not to discredit the other players on the O-line, just to highlight the importance of Williams to the team. While several of its players, like Talanoa Hufanga, have been injured, their defense is still a formidable force, with players like Nick Bosa, Erik Armstead, Javon Hargrave, Chase Young, and even Arden Key contributing great depth to a line that is prepared to destroy any opponent. But wait till you see their core of inside linebackers, Fred Warner is one of the best off-ball linebackers in the league by a country mile, a well-rounded monster. If you somehow get past him, Dre Greenlaw is just going to deck you. Remember Charvarius Ward Kansas City? He's the 49ers' main corner; after him, you've got Lenoir and Isaiah Oliver manning the fort. It's a truly mixed arsenal of hell for opponents. 

As you can see from the 49ers, these chances aren't to be taken lightly; it figured after blowing it four years ago it was expected that they would make it back. It hasn't been simple; undoubtedly, things have gotten in the way, and they are aware that another chance isn't assured given the fierce NFC hounding them. When these two teams previously faced off, Andy Reid's lengthy championship drought as head coach came to an end; maybe now it's Kyle Shanahan's turn. Now that he has the tools at his disposal, he has the best chance of defeating the Chiefs. The Super Bowl is here, with a matchup which is hated by about 90% of football fans, but their hatred is based on respect. These two groups are among the best we've seen in years, and when the final whistle blows, the one thing we'll all be saying is, this is what the Super Bowl should be. Strap in, this is going to be a fun one. 

As I said last year...“You can dislike the Chiefs, you can disrespect the Chiefs, but you’re gonna have to deal with the Chiefs.”

Official Prediction: Chiefs +1.5; Chiefs 31, 49ers 24; Over 47.5